Two Things I Learned From My Editors This Week

"I'm a writer first and an editor second... or maybe third or even fourth. Successful editing requires a very specific set of skills, and I don't claim to have all of them at my command."
~Lynn Abbey

A little background first:

1. I've been writing for about 6 years. I completed 4 novels and sent all of them out to agents and editors at some point. I collected 100+ rejection letters along the way. Then I decided to explore e-publishers, and within 2 months last winter, I had contract offers for 2 of my novels from 2 different publishers. Samhain Publishing Ltd. will be publishing One Night in Boston, and The Wild Rose Press will be publishing Lost in Paradise. Both of these novels are long enough that they will be released in print about 6-9 months after their electronic debut.

2. Anyway, what this means is that I've been trying to prepare 2 novels for publication at about the same time. I don't really recommend it, but that's the way things happen, so...

3. I've had the very interesting experience of working with 2 editors, and they are both kind and helpful but point out very different things in my manuscripts, which has been great. I'm able to transfer their comments to both the novels.

Drum roll...

These are the 2 areas that I've learned I have to work on:

1. I over-use internal dialogue.

2. I over-use commas to string together lengthy phrases in many of my sentences.

Regarding the first area, my editor from TWRP highlighted a lot of areas she wanted me to change from 1st person to 3rd person. At first I resisted, but I did begin to understand what she was saying. I didn't change all of them, but I tackled probably 50-60%. Here's an example:

Ash rolled over in bed. I should have told him how I felt. I shouldn't have let him go without telling him how he's changed me. Now what do I do?

The revision reads: Ash rolled over in bed. She should have told him how she felt. She shouldn't have let him go without telling him how he'd changed her. Now what was she supposed to do?

My editor's reasoning was that while internal thought can be good, even powerful in places, if over-used it can actually become a distraction to the reader. Well, OK. So that's my first piece of advice to: use it, but not too often.

Regarding the second area, my editor from SP wanted me to look at sentences that were too long and awkwardly phrased because I'd used commas (correctly, but still...) to join a lot of thoughts together. Here's an example:

From the womb, it seemed, Jack had been groomed for it. The Major bloodline, well grounded in Boston, demanded it. Everything he’d done since leaving home at eighteen, every step he’d taken and every goal he’d set, with the exception of one grave mistake of the heart back in his youth, had led him to this point.

Too wordy? Maybe a little. Here's the revision:

From the womb, Jack had been groomed for it. The Major bloodline, well grounded in Boston, demanded it. Everything he’d done since leaving home at eighteen, every step he’d taken and every goal he’d set, had led him to this point.

Because I make reference to his broken heart later on, I don't really need that extra clause here. So that's my second piece of advice: don't string together too many clauses and phrases in a sentence if you can help it.

I do think my writing/my editing has gotten better just over the past few weeks, in looking at these areas. I'm not losing my voice, though; there are some sentences I didn't change even if they violated the above recommendations. Some you have to stick to no matter what, I think.

What have you learned through writing and editing??

Announcing a Writing Contest

"I want to write books that unlock the traffic jam in everybody's head."
~John Updike

Here's some exciting news for all you writers out there:

Samhain Publishing has just announced its Best First Line Contest. Since they are closed to submissions right now until at least Fall 2007, this is a chance to get your manuscript in front of an editor earlier thah that.

Starting on June 4th, writers of any genre can leave the first line of an unpublished manuscript in the comments of the "Best First Line Contest" on Samhain's Blog. The editors will choose a group of winners to move on to the next round, the following week, and post their first and second lines. This will continue in the same way through the first 5 lines of the manuscript, until July 11. Then the editors will choose AT LEAST 3 winners to submit their full manuscript to Samhain for 2008 publication consideration. Exciting, right??!!

In full, here are the rules, posted at Samhain's Blog. Give it a try - what do you have to lose?

P.S. If you aren't a writer, here's another site for you to visit:

The Animal Rescue Site.

This one's pretty simple..

The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals.

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free. This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising.

Clicking on the link above will help to donate food to animal shelters across the country. All you have to do is visit and click every day!

Friday's Feast

And now it's time for the Friday Feast!

Appetizer: Name something you think is “the best.”

Hmm...the end of a long day, when I've time to go for a long run in the morning, and I've had a student say "Thanks, I understand now," and I've just enjoyed a favorite dinner, and I'm sitting in the living room with my hubby and my cats and a handful of dark chocolate which contains no calories, and we're watching a favorite TV show together while we chill out from the day (this rarely happens, which is why when it does, it's THE BEST kind of day...)

Soup: On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 highest), how stressed are you today?

Well, since I finished my edits for One Night in Boston, and since it's the first day of June which means less than 1 month until summer vacation, I'm going with about a 2.

Salad: What kind of cleanser do you use to wash your face?

Proactiv. It is the only thing that has ever worked to keep my skin from breaking out even though I passed adolescence almost 2 decades ago!

Main Course: Tonight is a blue moon! What is something that you believe only happens “once in a blue moon.”

The kind of day I described in my appetizer! Oh, and getting more than 7 hours of sleep...

Dessert: When was the last time it rained where you live?

Last weekend, but I wish it would rain again soon. My plants desperately need it!

A Thursday Meme

"Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school."
~from "The Breakfast Club"

I am crazy...I am out of time...I am supposed to be finished with my One Night in Boston edits TODAY and I still have 9 chapters to go (thank goodness my editor doesn't read my blog to know that...at least, I don't think she does...)

Anyway, Rebecca tagged me with this (thankfully) short meme, so this is all I have to offer you today. Then it's back to the editing board. Don't worry, though, I'm still saving up all the good tips I'm learning and will share with you soon. I promise!

1. What makes your blog unique? Oh, boy, probably not much. I know there are much more clever bloggers out there. I'd like to think that there aren't any other Allie B's out there who post writing tips on Wednesdays, though, so maybe that's a little unique.

2. When did you start blogging? I think it was last November.

3. What do you hope to accomplish with your blog? My original intent was to simply get my name into cyber-world before my novels came out. To that extent, I hope I've accomplished that goal, even on a very small scale.

4. What are your feelings on the "blog popularity"? Oh God...is this like high school all over again? Are the cool kids the ones with 25 comments on every post? Are the mean girls the one who tear apart other people's blog posts? Are the rich kids the ones with incredible graphics and songs and pictures? (child of the 80s slowly self-destructs...)

Writers' Wednesday: An Interview with Rebecca James

Welcome to Writers' Wednesday!

Today, I'm featuring an interview with newly published Samhain author Rebeccaa James. Her mainstream romance novel Nightswimming was released in mid-May and has already received great reviews. Click here to read an excerpt.

Let's see what this author has to say about her life in the world of writing and publishing...

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Welcome, Rebecca! Can you tell us a little about your background?
I was born in Sydney Australia in 1970 and then I grew up (well...physically, at least). My first job was as a waitress in a Mexican restaurant, which taught me a LOT about human nature, and most importantly that you should always be reasonably kind to people who are bringing you food!! In my twenties I travelled a bit - to England, Egypt and Greece - and lived for a while in Indonesia and Japan, where I taught English as a second language.

Travelling taught me LOTS of stuff - the most important of which is that you take yourself, your problems and insecurities with you wherever you go. Reinvention of self is hard...probably impossible.

Meeting my partner and having kids has been the best, best, best thing that ever happened to me. Being a parent is possibly the hardest but also the most rewarding thing in the world - and in my case it helped me become a much more settled, happy and less self-destructive person - and ultimately much less self-absorbed.

When did you first begin writing? Was there an event or moment in your life that triggered your desire to write?
I started writing about four years ago. I can't think of any one thing that triggered my desire to do it, and I have to admit that I wasn't one of those people who knew, from the age of five or so, that I wanted to be a writer. I'm a late blossomer in lots of ways!! In fact, my older sister is a (very successful ) writer and I honestly used to think, 'how boring."

I guess having children and being trapped at home a lot with my own whirling brain and a computer brought out the latent writer in me.

Now I love it - and couldn't think of life without it.

Tell us about Nightswimming.
Um. It's a book about a relationship in crisis. It examines what it's like to have your first child; all those wonderfully new and confusing emotions that first-time parents feel; I enjoyed writing it. I hope you like reading it. :)


How do you go about developing your characters?
I don't know really - I like flawed, realistic characters, though, I can say that much. And I like to write dialogue that reveals these flaws.

What advice would you give to aspiring, unpublished writers?
1. Write.
2. Be prepared to be shocked by the grim reality of the publishing world.
3. Marry somebody rich.

What kinds of books do you like to read? Who is your favorite author?
I like lots of different books. I can't say I have a favourite author - but I buy every Anne Tyler book I can find, I also LOVE Richard Yates, Kate Atkinson, Margaret Atwood, Sue Miller....

What do you find most difficult about writing? What do you find most exciting or rewarding?
The most difficult bit is waiting -it is never ending and can drive you mad.
The most exciting thing about it is, kind of paradoxically, the unknown. You never know what may happen tomorrow. A three-book deal? A great new review? A kind email from a happy reader?

How do you balance writing with the rest of your life?
I neglect the housework.

Can you tell us about your next writing project?
um...well....I'd bettter get on with it....

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Thanks for stopping by, Rebecca! Questions or comments, anyone? You can find out more about this lovely author at her own blog, http://rebeccasjames.blogspot.com/

And now that she's whet your appetite, why not take a visit to this link and buy yourself an e-copy of Nightswimming?

Good News

"The coroner will find ink in my veins and blood on my typewriter keys."
~C. Astrid Weber

It's a day for celebration, because in the June issue of Romance Writers Report, I have earned a coveted spot in the First Sales column! In full, it reads

...Allie Boniface announces the sale of her first book to Samhain Publishing. One Night in Boston, a contemporary romance that takes place over a single day and night, will be a summer 2007 release. She has been writing for six years. One Night in Boston was the fourth full-length manuscript she completed before selling...


I always wanted to make sure to put how long it took me to sell, because I don't want novice writers to think it happens overnight.

Actually, this RWR issue is full of good things: an article by Samhain author Jean Marie Ward, about her experience slicing 45000 words from her debut novel; a full-page ad by The Wild Rose Press featuring their latest covers; and a really informative article about writing for multiple publishers, which definitely applies to me.

Update: I've finished my edits for Lost in Paradise and just started the ones for One Night in Boston. I am really enjoying working with both my editors - what an interesting experience! And I plan on sharing some helpful tips I've picked up from both of them, in the next few weeks.

Once I've finished ONIB edits, I am determined to make some headway with my major revision of Summer's Song, another novel I'm hoping to revive for publication later this year or early next.

Never a dull moment!

**Important news: Make sure to stop by tomorrow for Writers' Wednesday. I'm featuring an interview with newly published Samhain author Rebecca James. You won't want to miss it!

A Day For Remembering

"Our country has always lifted up ordinary individuals who acted in extraordinary ways. "
~Anonymous

A few weeks ago, I read that the Flight 93 Memorial Project has fallen significantly short of its goal in fundraising.

My hubby’s comment was, “Why do they need 30 million dollars to build a memorial?” and I suppose in some respects he’s right. We could have a whole discussion about why memorials are constructed, what they need to look like (has anyone followed the debate over what should stand on the grounds of the WTC in New York??), what they’re meant to be, who they’re for…

Along those lines, I found a terrific commentary on the current memorial site that stands above the field of Shanksville, PA, where Flight 93 went down. Actually, I was there myself about 18 months after 9/11, and this author is spot-on the way he describes the field: the eerie feeling, the overwhelming emptiness, the palpable emotion that overtakes you when you see the makeshift tributes people have left there.

I do think something permanent should stand on that hallowed ground, though, and maybe I feel strongly about it because I lost a college classmate in that crash. Jeremy Glick is credited with being one of the 4 men on board who tried to take control of the cockpit. To me, he is this funny, normal, nice guy I used to see around campus--in the dining hall, at parties, in classes.

We weren’t close friends, but in a class of 1000 students or so, you get to know faces and voices. You travel in similar circles. You hold the door for each other on days so cold your breath freezes. You smile across a roomful of chairs when the eighty year old English professor cracks a joke. You touch.

Finding out Jeremy was on that plane…it changed me.

I'm in the middle of reading Your Father's Voice: Letters for Emmy About Life With Jeremy--and Without Him After 9/11. It's a memoir by his wife to their daughter, and it's quite well written and moving. I hope, most important, it's one more thing that keeps the memory alive of the fascinating, fun person that Jeremy Glick was.

Today, for Memorial Day, I'd encourage everyone to take a moment and remember and honor those people who've committed incredibly selfless acts even in the face of danger and heartache and probable death.

Despite all the sales at the mall, and the barbeques and family picnics, and the day off from school, I'd hope we could remember what this day is supposed to represent. I think remembering, anyway, is the most important tribute we can pay. Maybe we don't need a formal memorial after all.

What do you think?

Why I Didn't Post Yesterday, and Other Notes from the Home Improvement Front

So there's a very good reason why I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday.

Hubby is doing major work on our property, mostly a new garage that he put up last fall, and this weekend's plan was to run the water and electric from the house to the garage.

So Friday he started digging up the driveway...





And around late afternoon I realized I couldn't get online. Checked the phone and discovered no dial tone either. Asked hubby if perhaps he'd cut the phone line by accident.


Lo and behold, he had.


I suggested maybe he should stop digging with heavy equipment until he (A) called to find out where the electric lines were buried, or (B) waited for my brother-in-law, who's done this sort of thing before, to arrive (he and my sister were on their way down for the weekend).


He decided just to "do a little bit more." This resulted, about 10 minutes later, in him cutting the electric line. So no power, on Friday evening of a holiday weekend.




Wait, there's more...

After we were lucky enough to get an electrician to come out, and the power company to turn off the power so they could fix it, we discovered that not only did he kill the power to our house, he killed the power to our neighbors' homes as well.

Needless to say, we're not too popular on the street right now...

Anyway, thus my absence from cyber-world yesterday. Still, I'm back now, and all is (fairly) well at home.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend, and just so you know, I did choose my cover for One Night in Boston, and no I'm not telling you which one it is. You'll have to wait 'til the release date (or at least the coming soon attractions) to know for sure!

Friday's Feast!

"In the case of good books, the point is not how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you."

~Mortimer Adler

It's Friday *and* I have the day off, making for a lovely 4 day weekend! Considering last night was a late one, what with induction of some of my students into National Honor Society, the chance to sleep in 'til a whopping 6:45 was almost luxurious!

Anyway, I have an important question for all you readers today, below, the Friday Feast. Please let me know your thoughts!!

Friday's Feast

Appetizer : Name a sound you like to hear.

Birds in the early morning. Hubby can't stand it, says it wakes him out of a deep sleep, but I like the fact that it's finally spring/summer. Also, the peeper frogs at night. We just opened our pool yesterday, and they were thrilled: a frog symphony all night long!

Soup : What is your favorite kind of cheese?

Either brie or really good, fresh mozzerella.

Salad: Do you sleep late on Saturday mornings? Why or why not?

Well, late is anything past my normal, teacher-day wakeup of 5:30, so yes, I usually sleep in a couple of hours past that on the weekends just because I need to!

Main Course: When was the last time you forgot something? What was it, and how long did it take to remember it?

Umm...I often forget my cell phone in the morning when I'm leaving for work. On a good day, I'll remember it before I get down the driveway. On a bad day...well, what's so important about me that people have to call me out on the road, anyway?

Dessert: Fill in the blank: I notice ____________ when _____________.

I notice I am happiest with myself and other people when I've had enough sleep and get to exercise on a regular basis.

And the very important question for today is,

What do you like to see on book covers?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm in the process of choosing/finalizing a cover for my first novel, One Night in Boston, that's being published by Samhain, and I'm stuck between 2 great ones that my cover artist came up with. One has a character on the front, my heroine, and the other doesn't.

So do you like it when characters' faces/bodies are on the front cover, or does that spoil the effect of creating them in your mind as you read? Would you rather have a more generic landscape scene or artistic design? Or doesn't it matter to you at all?

Thanks, and have a great holiday weekend!!

Three More Writing Links

"Every writer I know has trouble writing."
~Joseph Heller

Congrats to Mel, the winner of a $5 Amazon gift certificate from a random drawing of everyone who commented on yesterday's blog! Mel, email me at allieb@allieboniface.com and let me know which email address to send the GC to.

Today, I've no time for musings, long-winded or otherwise, so I'm sharing 3 links to writing sites that look pretty cool:

Creative Writing Prompts is chock-full of prompt ideas to jump-start your writing, and in light of yesterday's blog post, I thought you might find it helpful.

Dan Poynter is well-known for his advice on self-promotion, so check out his site for a variety of information.

Finally, Once Written provides, among other things, free content for bloggers, on those days when you just have nothing interesting to say. Pay them a visit as well!

By the way, I'm looking to feature interviews with writers, published or aspiring, in the next few weeks for Writers' Wednesday, so if you're interested, leave me a comment or email me at allieb@allieboniface.com.

Have a great day!

Writers' Wednesday: How To Jump Start Your Writing Schedule

I almost titled this Wednesday’s blog post “101 Things to do Besides Work on your Novel/Article/Short Story,” but then I figured most people already had the skill of procrastination mastered.

What do you do when you don’t want to write? I mean, most of us writers, published or not, newbies or veterans, enjoy the magic, the thrill, of the creative process. We like to dream up alternate worlds, we like to create storylines, we like to develop characters and see what happens to them.

Sometimes, though, we struggle with the actual process of writing. It’s hard work. It doesn’t always go smoothly. At times it’s downright frustrating, and we feel as though anything that comes out on the page is stupid and worthless.

So I thought today I’d offer up some suggestions for jump-starting your writing, ones that have worked for me. If you have others, leave me a comment and share! Also, today will be the last day I’ll be holding a drawing from all my posters’ names to win a $5 Amazon gift certificate. So jump on in!

P.S. – I have some author interviews coming up on future Writers’ Wednesdays…make sure to stop back and check them out!

1. Set your alarm and write for 15 minutes. Sometimes, the hardest thing is actually sitting down and facing the next scene you have to write. So give yourself a very limited window in which to work on it. You might find that after 15 minutes, you’ll be on a roll and want to continue. Or, you can save your work, pack it away, and be done until your next 15 minutes.

2. Go outside. Find a place to write that’s different from the norm. Take your laptop, or notebook, onto the front porch. Or down to the corner park. Or to the sidelines of your child’s game. Especially now that the weather’s nicer in most places, being outside might inspire your writing.

3. Go to a different room. Instead of writing in your office, try the living room. Or the basement. Or the coffee shop downtown. Again, changing your setting might inspire change and progress in your writing.

4. Use a writing prompt. You can find them easily enough by typing “writing prompts” into any Internet search engine. Writing without the specific purpose of finishing a story or polishing a chapter can free up your creative juices.

5. Eat some chocolate. It’s proven to raise your endorphins, which in turn improves your mood, which might just make you want to tackle that next plot development.

6. And speaking of raising endorphins, get moving. Go outside and walk. Or take a kickboxing class at the gym. Or garden. Or play catch with your kids. Anything that gets the blood circulating perks up your attention, your mood, your energy level…

7. Play the "what if" game. This is one of my favorite ways to get out of a writing rut. Think of a crazy situation for your main character: What if he decided to leave home and live in a tree for a year? Then go further. What if he met another man who decided to do the same thing? What if one of them was dying from cancer? What if they discovered they were somehow related? I try to be outrageous as possible, because sometimes you get actual ideas for plot twists from this game. At the very least, it's kind of fun.

8. Reward yourself. Set up a system where you can have a dish of ice cream if you write 1000 words. Or go shopping for a new pair of shoes when you finish the first half of your novel. Or rent that movie you’ve been dying to see when you revise your sagging middle chapter.

9. Comment on someone else’s work. If you belong to a writers’ group, post some feedback for another member. Or write an Amazon review of a book you recently read. Taking a step back to objectively view someone else’s writing can steer you in a better direction when it comes to your own.

10. Read. Read a new book by a new author. Or a favorite book by a well-loved author. Or a book that’s outside the genre you normally choose. Remind yourself how you enjoy words on a page, words telling a story, words filling up the spaces in our world.

Finally, tape up something near your workspace to inspire you every day: maybe it’s a picture of your family, or a copy of the first positive email you received from an editor, or a postcard of a serene Monet painting you love, or a news article about your favorite author’s rags-to-riches story.

Good luck!

An Interesting Writing Tip

"Easy reading is damn hard writing."
~Nathaniel Hawthorne

At my local RWA chapter meeting last month, one of the members, a published author, shared a piece of writing advice that was so simple and yet so profound (for me, anyway). Here it is:

When two characters are talking, don't have either one of them say something they both already know.

I had never heard that piece of advice before, but it makes perfect sense, when you think about it. For instance, you wouldn't have this kind of conversation between two best friends:

Jill: Steve hasn't called. It's been three days since I told him about the baby. [The best friend would most likely already know this.] What am I supposed to do? [The first sentence is new information, so it can stay. The question at the end can stay too. But the middle one, old news, should be taken out.]

Sharlene: Well, you could wait him out. He's done this before, you know. Remember the time you caught him in bed with your cousin? [These last 2 sentences are the author trying to put in back story. Jill most likely doesn't need any reminding about the cousin.]

Jill: Yeah, but he said he'd been drugged and didn't know how he got there. [Again, Sharlene as the best friend would already know this.]

Sharlene: So call his cell phone. His boss'll have a fit if he gets a call on the jobsite, but if he's ignoring your messages, he deserves it. [The first sentence, a new piece of advice/info, would be okay. The second would be something that Jill, carrying this guy's baby, would probably know.]

So, a revising of the above conversation would look something like this:

Jill: Steve still hasn't called. What am I supposed to do?

Sharlene: Well, you could wait him out. Or call his cell phone.

After that brief exchange, I'd probably continue the conversation with new ideas about how to deal with Steve, or maybe Jill's feelings about the fact she's carrying some schmuck's baby. Most important, it would be all new information. The only exception to this that I can think of would be when a character repeats information for effect or emphasis. Otherwise, eliminating all the extra info above makes for tighter writing and more believable dialogue.

I just love this advice and am applying it to my edits and my current WIP.

Try it -- you might find it helpful too!

Pictures from my Weekend

Happy Monday! Yes, I made it back from Cleveland tired but happy and in one piece. Had a terrific visit, too. The major event we were in town for was the annual 10K and Marathon, which I've run many times. It was the first 10K I ever ran (that's 6. 2 miles, by the way), 10+ years ago, so I return as often as I can for sentimental reasons.

This year, my mom and sister ran as well (only my sister was crazy enough to run the marathon, which she finished in 3:15--average marathon time is 4:05--and as the 9th woman out of 500+). Here are some pics:

The Night Before, with my mom and younger sister in the lobby of the la-de-da hotel where we stayed in downtown Cleveland

The morning of the race, Mom and I getting ready to tackle 6.2 miles!

There I am, waving at hubby, at about 5 miles (I passed the woman in front of me, right after he snapped the picture, by the way:) )

Bringing in my Mom after I finished

Overall we had a good showing: my sister and mom both placed 2nd in their age groups, and I held my own for a decent 33rd in my own. Considering 10,000 people turned out to run, not too bad, hmm?

Happy Weekend - It's My 200th Post!!

"What is the city but the people?"
~Wm. Shakespeare

Wow, I can't believe this is my 200th blog post already...

Anyway, I know Friday's post is up a little early, but I'm going out of town for the weekend, to my beloved adopted hometown of Cleveland, Ohio.

I spent 4 years living there in my 20s, during and after graduate school, and I have to say that they were some of the most formative years of my life. I fell in love with the city: with the kindness of the people, the burgeoning downtown, the museums, the beautiful suburbs, the inexpensive cost of living, the sports teams...just about everything except the weather. I also had a wonderfully tight-knit group of friends, and we spent just about every day and night having dinner together or going out for drinks together or struggling through classwork together.

There is such luxury in being young and single, in having the energy to stay up until 3 am talking with your classmates about philosophy, or dancing at the newest club, or watching your home team win a double-header and still having the stamina to get up early the next morning and go to work or school and do it all over again. I remember feeling such contentment then, feeling my way into adulthood with great pals by my side.

So I go back to Cleveland as often as I can, aiming for once a year, though it's usually only for a few days or a weekend. Most of my friends from back then have moved elsewhere, anyway. Ah, well. When I contract that best-seller and get a million-dollar advance, I'll buy myself a cushy little townhouse so I can go back whenever I want to, and host annual reunions!

Here's the question of the day: if you could choose to live anywhere in the world, either a place you've lived before, or someplace you've always dreamed of, where would it be? And why? Is there a place or time you look back to that shaped the person you are today?

(Note: Lots of news to share on my 2 up-coming novels, as I've recently gotten first edits on Lost in Paradise and a first-draft cover design for One Night in Boston. So stay tuned, next week. And have a great weekend ~ I'll be back on Monday!!)

(Second note: what was up with that totally depressing season finale of Grey's Anatomy last night?? Nothing like a TV show that makes me want to slit my wrists. Sheesh...)

Freedom Writers

"Your faces are carved onto my heart..."
~from the movie "Freedom Writers"

Wow, where is everyone?? Writers' Wednesday started off with a bang a few weeks back, but last week, only 7 comments, and this week, only 5. Hmm...I know people are still stopping by. So where are all the voices?

Anyway, that made the odds of winning the $5 Amazon gift certificate a lot better for...Ali (great name, by the way :) ) Congratulations!! Ali, email me at allieb@allieboniface.com and let me know which email address you'd like the GC sent to.

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So yesterday, I watched the movie "Freedom Writers," starring Hilary Swank, and I highly recommend it. I expected the typical white-girl-goes-to-the-'hood-and-saves-a-bunch-of-underprivileged-kids movie, which it sort of was, but it was well acted and had a really good central message. So I enjoyed it all the same.

It's the story of Erin Gruwell, this brand new, lily white, pearl-wearing teacher who takes a job in an LA high school during the riots of the early '90s. One day, totally fed up, she's telling her students how the way they treat each other, separating by race and hating or loving each other just because of skin color, is what started the Holocaust.

And not one of her kids knows what the Holocaust is.

So the movie is really the story of how she enlightens them about that time in history (she calls the Nazi party the biggest, baddest gang in history, one that puts their own gangs to shame), but also how she shows them the power of writing down their own stories. The journals the students kept, about their own experiences, eventually turned into the book The Freedom Writers Diary: How a Teacher and 150 Teens Used Writing to Change Themselves and the World Around Them, which I had read before I saw the movie. A worthwhile read as well.

Rent it, if you haven't seen it yet! (Added bonus: Patrick Dempsey, a.k.a McDreamy, plays Gruwell's husband ;) )

Writers' Wednesday: How To Add Emotion to Your Writing

Emotion: do you need to have it in your writing? If you’re writing fiction, the answer is almost always “yes.”

But that doesn’t mean that your characters are weeping and moaning, wringing their hands, or talking in tirades on every page. It doesn’t mean that you must keep them on a perpetual “high,” piling conflict upon crisis until they have a nervous breakdown.

It does mean that you take the time to reveal your characters’ emotional states. It means that you show us their reactions to events in their lives. When you do this, you involve the reader emotionally as well. We want to care about the characters. We want to cheer for them, or curse them, or fall in love with them. We want to miss them when the story’s through.

So how can you achieve that? Well, here are 4 tips I’ve found helpful in my own writing. Do you have others? Leave a comment and let me know! (And remember, if you leave a comment, you're automatically entered into a drawing to win a $5 Amazon Gift Certificate!)

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1. Follow dialogue with action. Often, you can signal characters’ emotion through the words they speak:

“Oh, God. How early was she? How are the babies? I had no idea Marilee’s pregnancy was so risky.”

“What do you want from me, Bryan? What? I can tell you a thousand times I never cheated on you, but you’ve already made up your mind.”

We can sense tension and emotion in both examples above. Sometimes, though, it can help to add an action to emphasize a character’s emotional state. Is your heroine nervous? Have her play with her hair as she speaks. Is your hero frustrated or upset? Maybe he paces, or pulls books off a shelf and hurls them across the room, or clenches the back of a chair so tightly it splinters. Consider these revisions:

“Oh, God.” Dave swayed in the doorway and reached for something to hold himself up. “How early was she? How are the babies?” He pulled at his collar, as if trying to let in a little more air. “I had no idea Marilee’s pregnancy was so risky.”

“What do you want from me, Bryan? What?” Jane sank to a seat on the edge of the sofa. Her fingers tightened into tiny, white fists in her lap. “I can tell you a thousand times I never cheated on you, but you’ve already made up your mind.”

2. Insert involuntary physical sensations. You can also use actions that the characters are not necessarily aware of committing but that signal heightened emotion to the reader. Consider the following:

Her stomach twisted
His voice turned ragged
A flurry in her chest left her weak
She could feel her pulse skip at the base of her throat
The color drained from his face
His fingers twitched beneath his coat sleeves
Her heart thudded behind her breastbone
Tears welled to the surface
Her cheeks pinked
His jaw clenched

3. Manipulate your sentence length. In scenes of heightened emotion or tension, sentences should be short and terse. In scenes of indecision, they can be halting, perhaps punctuated with ellipses or em-dashes. In scenes of courting or lovemaking, on the other hand, they might be longer.

4. Let your characters interrupt each other. A wonderful way to show emotion is to allow your characters’ dialogue to overlap. What’s more realistic than two people who are so angry, or so excited, or so in love, that they rush to speak without waiting for the other person to finish?

“Did you hear?” Janet shot into the room and flung her purse into the closest chair. “I got the—“

“The job with Parker and Lowenstein?” Annie clapped both hands together. “I knew it, I knew—“

“That’s not the best part,” Janet went on. Her cheeks flushed as she paced back and forth inside the tiny apartment. “They’re giving me a relocation allowance. A huge one.” She paused and turned to her roommate and best friend of almost twenty years.

“Relocation…?” Annie sank back into her chair. “But I thought—“

“It’s with their foreign branch. The one in Hong Kong.”

Finally, I always recommend sharing your work with someone else for feedback. Often, an external reader can point out areas that fall flat in terms of emotion, or areas that lack specific character reaction to a pivotal moment in the story.

Good luck!

Joining--and Building--A Writers' Group

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."
~Eleanor Roosevelt


(This is one of my all-time favorite quotes, by the way...)

So this past weekend, I attended the monthly meeting of my local RWA group, which I joined back in February. It's a small group (there were only 5 of us there Saturday), though I think they claim membership of around 20-30 or so.

The best thing that happened: the core of members who apparently meet every other Tuesday to do more in-depth critiques of each other's work invited me to join their Tuesday group. I was flattered, honestly, because it's an invitation-only group and many of the members are multiply-published.

The second-best thing that happened: I shared some pages out loud with the group for the first time. Seriously, I can stand up in front of a class of 17-year olds, I can speak to a crowd of 500+ at union meetings, but the thought of baring my writing soul in front of 4 other writers terrifies me. Crazy. Ultimately, of course, I was glad I did, 'cause I got some really good feedback for this new-old-resurrected novel I want to work on. Maybe next time I won't feel so much like my heart is leaping out of my chest. I guess if I want to join the Tuesday group , I better get over my fear!

Finally, at the end of the meeting, the topic of conversation turned to recruiting new members. We churned out a few ideas: ads in the local papers, recruitment mailings to local RWA members, monthly newsletter.

So here's the question: what would make you (or what made you) join a writers' group? Do you find more support or more pressure from sharing your work with others? Do you enjoy the dialogue about the publishing industry, or would you rather stay focused on your own pursuits and learn from reading rather than discussing? Would programs from different writers or speakers draw you in to a group? Lunch? How far would you drive for a monthly, or bimonthly, meeting? And what would you hope to gain from your membership?

Two New Links

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
~Cicero

Did you know that May is "Get Caught Reading Month?" Me either, but apparently it is. The official website has some interesting information regarding books and literacy, especially the Literacy Fact Sheet.

There's a new blogger in cyber-world, a local teacher/musician/friend of mine who shares 3 Things To Do every day on his blog: swing by and leave him a comment!

That's all for today, since it's another crazy Monday. Quick note, though: Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to go to a college graduation of a former student...it was me and 11 of her family members for the celebration dinner afterwards. I had such a lovely time, and felt so honored to be included with her immediate family, and I told her and her mother as much. Her response? "Well, you've been such an important part of all this, of me getting here. I couldn't not invite you."

Who says teaching isn't the most rewarding profession in the world??

Happy Mother's Day!!

"A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."
~Tenneva Jordan

5 Childhood Memories of my Mom:

1. She would always get up in the middle of a summer night when it rained, come into my bedroom, and close the windows so the floor didn't get wet. 30 years later, I still think of that when I wake up at 1 am to a thunderstorm.


2. She made an awesome concoction of honey and lemon juice anytime I had a cough. Much better than any cough syrup you could buy at the store!

3. She always had boxes of cereal, milk, and our favorite orange bowls on the table when my father, sister and I came downstairs for breakfast in the morning. It's only now that I wonder how early she had to get up to do that.

4. She came to my school when I was in first grade and scolded the librarian for not letting me take out books from the "blue" section because those were only for 2nd graders and up (forget that I was reading at about a 3rd grade level then).

5. She was always there. And I mean, for every breakfast, for every dinner, for every sporting event, for every play or concert I was in. For the awkward moments when I was an adolescent. For every bad breakup with a lousy boyfriend. For the night I got engaged, and the morning I got married. For every time I have a question about cooking a casserole or planting a perennial. Always.

Thanks, Mom!

What do you remember most about your mother?? And for what do you love her the world over??

Friday's Feast...on Saturday

Well, since it was posted late yesterday, I think I'm still OK to put up my feast a day afterwards. Besides, who doesn't love leftovers?

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Appetizer
Tell about a time when you had to be brave. Um...every time I step into a classroom full of teenagers? Traveling abroad in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language? Stepping to the starting line of a marathon and trusting that my body would make it to the end of 26 miles? Sometimes I think I'm brave just waking up in a world that faces so much adversity and struggle.

Soup
Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing? Actually, I'd like to see The Pursuit of Happyness, Dreamgirls, and Half Nelson, all of which are in my Blockbuster Online queue.

Salad
Name an item you try to always have on hand. Olive oil. Always useful in the kitchen! Oh, and chocolate. Of course.

Main Course
Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of. Now describe it! Pillows, classical music, a fountain, an unlimited library, soft, warm colors, and chocolate. Of course.

Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how spiritual or religious are you? Not being a fan of organized religion, I still consider myself a fairly spiritual person in my views of the universe and karma and good begetting good and believing in a higher power than oneself. So I'll say 6.

Edits, Jury Duty, and Other Things of Marginal Importance

"I will have poetry in my life. And adventure. And love. Love above all. No... not the artful postures of love, not playful and poetical games of love for the amusement of an evening, but love that... over-throws life. Unbiddable, ungovernable - like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture. Love - like there has never been in a play. "
~from "Shakespeare in Love"

Yesterday I got my first set of edits on Lost In Paradise, the novel contracted by The Wild Rose Press. I'm excited, 'cause this is the start of a whole new experience in my writing career, but I'm also a little nervous and overwhelmed. I really just read my editor's email, and glanced at the first chapter or so, to see her markups.

I like her, and I think she'll be okay to work with. But the big thing she wants me to change is my characters' inner thoughts. She wants them taken out or changed to third person. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, I understand her point that they can slow the action, in certain cases, but in many ways that kind of writing focus is part of my style. Hmm. Going to have to think about this and perhaps come to a compromise.

We do get to compromise, right?

Also yesterday, Judy befriended me on Facebook. I didn't even remember that I'd created a Facebook account! Whoops. I wonder if I should actually do somethng with my page there? Anyone have thoughts on that site? I view it as marginally better than Myspace, since you're supposed to have some kind of college/business verifiable email address (I think) to open a Facebook account. But I don't know.

My students are watching "Shakespeare in Love" for an end-of-semester treat today. Anyone seen that movie? It's charming, really. Won 7 Academy Awards in 1998, too, which I'd forgotten.

Well, I'm off to jury duty, for the 2nd time this week! My co-workers just keep telling me to say "Guilty" and they'll let me go without a word (which I'd prefer, so I can actually watch the above movie with my students rather than leave them with a substitute). Okay, Guilty it is! Or maybe I'll try for a more dramatic strategy...

Random Ramblings...

"Show me the books he loves and I shall know the man far better than through mortal friends."
~Dawn Adams

Congratulations to Fred Charles, the winner of the Writers’ Wednesday drawing for a $5 Amazon gift certificate! Fred, email me at allieb@allieboniface.com and let me know which email address you’d like the GC sent to. And thanks for posting!

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Wanted to share a few good links that readers shared with me earlier this week: Karen Fox's website for its market news and writing tips; Miss Snark (of course!) for her searing yet honest take on the brutal publishing world; Ian's Irvine's site, especially "The Truth About Publishing" section; and Ralan, for its thorough (and free) listing of genre fiction markets.

Also, WOW! Women on Writing has some great info in their e-zine this month, all about self-promotion and marketing for writers. Swing on by if you're interested!

Finally, an update on my Spring Reading Thing progress: I finished my first-ever novel by Jennifer Crusie, Tell Me Lies, and really enjoyed it. Check the SRT link for my full review!

Anyone else reading anything good these days, websites or books or otherwise??

Writers' Wednesday: How To Write A Query Letter

Welcome to Writers' Wednesday! Remember, everyone who leaves a comment today will be entered into a drawing for a $5 Amazon Gift Certificate. And by the way, if you're interested in qualifying for free stuff (of course you are!), stop by Marianne's blog today. She has a collection of contests going on to celebrate her latest short story release by The Wild Rose Press, "Miles From You."

As always, thanks for stopping by! And now, let's discuss those darn query letters...

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You can find guidelines for writing query letters in many different places: online at sites like Charlotte Dillon's, in resource books like Writer's Market, or at your local writer’s group or conference.

However, I thought it might be helpful for me to post the query letter I used when I was seeking representation for One Night in Boston. Of the 42 agents/editors I sent it to, 36 requested either a partial or a full manuscript as a follow-up, which is a pretty good return. Ultimately, I secured publication with Samhain Publishing, and it will be a Summer 2007 release.

In total, I’ve queried 4 novels over the last 6 years and received all kinds of feedback along the way. Now, I’m sharing with you the tips I’ve found most helpful:

1. You are writing a business letter, or a business email, depending on the agent’s preference, so follow the standard format. Contact info, paragraphing, spacing, closing, should all be appropriate and correct. Not sure what that means? Look here.

2. Open your query letter with straightforward information. Some people suggest a “hook” in the first paragraph--just don’t make it too long! I’d also suggest including the title of your work, the genre, the word count, and why you’re contacting the agent (reference, response to conference pitch, found the agent on Agentquery.com, etc).

3. The middle paragraph(s) should include a general description of your work, including the main characters and their struggle/conflict. What is their central goal? What is the overall theme of the story? How is this work both similar to, and different from, other works on the shelves today? What will make this attractive to the target audience? Who is the target audience?

4. Include some brief biographical information about yourself. This means any education/experience with writing and any publishing history or contest wins you might have. It doesn’t mean a long-winded description of how your great-aunt loves your work or how your three cats keep you company when you write in the wee hours of the morning. If you don’t have any publications to your name, or specific background that relates to your genre or topic, then don’t put anything at all. A simple statement such as “The Mystery of Seven Slippery Sisters” is my first complete novel is fine.

5. Close with an offer to send more material, if you haven’t included any in the first mailing. Make sure to indicate that the work is complete (and it should be, if you’re querying agents).

6. Proofread twenty times. At least. Then give it to five other people and ask them to proofread it. By the way, this includes confirming the spelling of the agent’s name. Don’t rely on one website or source for this; I’d check at least 2 different places.

7. Open your letter/email with Dear First Name Last Name of agent. “Dear Agent,” “To Whom It May Concern,” and “Dear Sir or Madam” are too generic and suggest that you didn’t do your homework. You need to target a specific individual, and I recommend using the person’s full name rather than Mr./Ms./Mrs. to avoid any possible gender screw-ups. Ashley Grayson, for example, is a man. Wonder how many query letters he receives addressed “Dear Ms. Grayson…”??

8. Make sure to follow the agent’s guidelines when submitting material. Some will ask for a query letter only. Some accept emails only. Others want the first three chapters. Include a SASE for snail mail responses. Tell them they may recycle the partial/full manuscript unless you want to pay the return postage to get it back.

9. Make a generous list of agents to target. Many people have an “A,” “B,” and “C” list of their top choices, and they work their way down. Unless the agent says “No multiple submissions,” I recommend sending your query letter to multiple agents each day/week/month, according to your timeline. The query process can take a long time, and there’s no need for you to wait for a reply from each single agent before you send out another query.

10. Your query letter should be no longer than 1 page (or its equivalent, for an email). Really, agents slog through sometimes hundreds of queries each day. Get to the point, and grab their attention. Period.

Okay! Below is my original query letter for One Night in Boston, along with a few notes in brackets. Good luck with those queries, and remember: do not let rejections stop your query process. What one agent turns down, another may very well scoop up with excitement and enthusiasm. Keep at it!

[Contact Info and Date would go here if a formal snail mail letter]
Dear Susie Agent:
Can anything really change in 24 hours? Can everything? [My hook, which turned out to be my tagline on the Samhain Coming Soon page]

My mainstream romance novel, One Night in Boston, offers a twist for the contemporary romance reader because it takes place over the course of a single day and night. (Think of the award-winning television show “24” translated into the romance genre: twenty-four hours unfold in twenty-four chapters.) Complete at 85,000 words, One Night in Boston tells the story of Maggie Doyle and Jack Major, college lovers who meet ten years after their relationship ends and discover a renewed attraction that is both stronger and more complicated than the first love they shared. As RWA indicates that you are an agent who is accepting new romance writers I thought you might be interested in taking a look.

[Opening paragraph includes general info about the book, its length, its topic, what makes it unique, and why I’m sending her this letter]

Maggie, a single but struggling entrepreneur in rural Rhode Island, faces foreclosure on her interior design business, thanks to a spiraling small-town economy and her mother’s nursing home bills. Her only option: find the stepbrother she hasn’t spoken to in years and convince him to loan her the money she needs. Jack, meanwhile, has carried on his family’s business legacy and become CEO of a major Boston corporation. He’s also just become engaged to a successful attorney, who’s planning the city’s biggest wedding and driving everyone crazy doing it. Though the marriage will join two prominent families and please his father, sometimes Jack still thinks about the fireworks of his first love.

Maggie’s search for her stepbrother leads her directly to a high-profile charity ball…and to Jack. A dance, some reminiscing, and a spontaneous kiss startle them both into realizing that old feelings haven’t died. But then Jack’s fiancée arrives at the ball, and Maggie flees only to find herself trapped in a violent storm that has closed half the city streets. Jack follows her, but when Maggie reveals the reason she left him in college, and the reason she cannot be with him now, both are forced to realize that people change, that memories are tempered by years, and that time alters even the things we most want to stay the same.

[Two body paragraphs give a very general overview of the hero and heroine, their goals, their conflicts, and the underlying theme of the book: that time changes everything, whether it’s 24 hours or 10 years]

I am an RWA member who earned her PRO pin in 2003. Previous online publications/contest wins include “Time for Teacher”, a narrative essay published by RunnersWorld.com in 2002, and “Hawkman and the Widow Thompson” (short story) and “Untitled” (poem) which won 1st and 2nd place in WriterOnline’s Mystery Contest (2003) and 5 Senses Contest (2004), respectively. I am currently working on my next One Night…book, which will also explore the ways and places desire can bloom overnight. A synopsis, sample chapters, or the complete manuscript of One Night in Boston is available upon your request. Or, you may prefer to read an excerpt on www.allieboniface.com. I am available via email (allieb@allieboniface.com) or telephone (999-999-9999). Thank you for your time and consideration.

[Closing paragraph, while a little long, mentions my previous writing experience - notice no full-length publications - my membership in Romance Writers of America, which indicates an interest in and familiarity with the genre, and my contact info. While I did mention my plan for future One Night books, it’s not a wise idea to query more than one project at a time. Notice it’s a only a mention, here]

Sincerely,

Allie Boniface

I've Been Tagged!

Okay, Judy tagged me yesterday with "8 Random Facts," and I guess this could be kind of interesting:

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

8 Random Facts/Habits About Me:

1. I love baths. I could take one every night & have felt this way ever since I was a child. Don’t know if it’s the warmth (probably), or the relaxation, but I just love them.

2. I cannot draw to save my life. Really. Even stick figures frustrate me. It’s sort of odd, ‘cause I consider myself creative in other “artistic” areas, like music and writing, but drawing/painting/sculpting? Not a chance.

3. I don’t mind driving really long distances. When I was in college/grad school, I’d think nothing of jumping in the car and driving 8 hours one way for a weekend trip to visit a friend.

4. I refuse to give up my navel ring, which I’ve had for 10+ years. Yeah, maybe it’s my last hold on my youth, on the days I used to go out dancing with my girlfriends ‘til way after midnight. I don’t care.

5. I love foreign languages and in fact still know basic vocabulary in Latin & German (both of which I took in HS) and American Sign Language (which I took right after grad school, just for the heck of it). If I could squeeze another career into my life, I’d be an interpreter for the deaf. Maybe in Germany.

6. My favorite stuffed animal when I was a child was Paddington Bear. He still sits on the rocking chair in my former bedroom in my parents’ house, actually. Still in his blue coat and yellow hat, all worn down with love.

7. I once dated the guy who modeled for the Cool Water cologne ads, back in the mid-‘90s. He was a jerk.

8. Even though I spend a fair amount of time online, some of my best cyber-friends don't keep blogs, so I can't tag them, much as I'd like to. So I'll compromise and tag these 4: Rebecca, Bunnygirl, Diane, and Annie.

Anyone else who wants to be tagged, let me know!

Just Another Manic Monday...

"Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun."
~Colleen C. Barrett

As it is the start of a brand new (crazy) work week, and as I am feeling in every muscle my gardening efforts of this past weekend, I’ll leave you today with nothing witty, nothing particularly exciting to report in my writing world, just 2 links that I think every aspiring writer should have bookmarked:

The Passionate Pen: Romance author Jess Michaels/Jenna Petersen has put together a tremendous amount of romance-genre resources regarding submissions, agents and publishing houses. I use her site, often, when I’m researching new places to send material (she updates regularly, too, which is great).

Piers Anthony: He's a fantasy author who also maintains a great log of Internet publishers. This is a helpful place to search if you’re sending out material or even thinking about it sometime in the future. Along with Preditors and Editors, I find this a very helpful place to discover tips and trends about the market, and to find out who should be avoided and who‘s up-and-coming in the e-publishing world (also updated regularly).

What about you? Any writing/publishing sites that you’d recommend because their content is honest, helpful and reliable?

World Laughter Day

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
~e.e. cummings

Bet you didn't know today was World Laughter Day, did you?

Well, apparently it is. And the folks at Laughter Network claim that not only does laughing out loud just make us feel good, it also boosts our immune system, tones our tummies, increases blood flow to the skin, brightens our eyes, and reduces our blood pressure.

Wow--better than most of the drugs on the market today, right? Plus it's free! So to tickle your funny bone today, here are some clips that are (hopefully) guaranteed to make you laugh:

Starting Over Again

"Gardens...should be like lovely, well-shaped girls: all curves, secret corners, unexpected deviations, seductive surprises and then still more curves."
~H.E. Bates

So I am tackling the MAJOR revision of a novel I tucked away a few years ago…and this weekend I am determined to write a new Chapter One.

In light of the fact that I hate writing story openings, I thought I’d get a few opinions before diving in.

What do you most like to see in a story’s opening? If you pick up a book in Border’s, what will keep you reading past the first sentence? Better yet, what will make you carry that book to the check-out line because you absolutely must find out what happens next?

What is the best story opening you’ve ever read?

I’m waiting on your help here…

May even go outside and do a little gardening to get the creative juices flowing…

Friday's Feast

Gosh, today’s Feast seems harder than usual. Or maybe it’s just been a really, really long week! OK, here we go…

Appetizer: Name something you would not want to own. An SUV: they make sightlines on the road unbearable, and they guzzle way too much gas.

Soup: Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.). Ooh, funny one, since I just got a new cut and color yesterday! Mmm…shoulder length, medium brown with blonder highlights than I would like, and straight. Most of the time.

Salad: Finish this sentence: I’ll never forget ___________. Oh, gosh, I’m the queen of remembering magical moments. In fact, I probably dwell in the past more than I should. That’s why I write, to recreate those incidents/days/people who changed me.

Main Course: Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why? President of the United States (the office, not the guy who currently holds it). I’d like to know how exhilarating and terrifying the power of that role is.

Dessert: Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not. OK, this will be easy for most of my regular readers to figure out: besides signing a publishing contract, 2 of my greatest accomplishments in the last 18 months were buying a new house and quitting smoking.

More Dialogue Tips, and a Love Affair with Shakespeare

"It's not enough to speak, but to speak true."
~Wm. Shakespeare

Congratulations to Ceri, the winner of yesterday’s Writers’ Wednesday drawing for a $5 Amazon gift certificate! Ceri, email me at allieb@allieboniface.com and let me know which email address to send it to.

Thanks to everyone for your great comments, by the way. A couple of good dialogue tips that I left out but others mentioned:

1. Avoid using adverbs in your taglines. Really, there’s no reason to write “he said softly” or “she called annoyingly.” Take the action and put it right into your dialogue (thanks for the tip, Fred Charles!)

2. Spend some time at the mall eavesdropping if you want to develop an ear for true dialogue. Good writers pay attention to the way people speak, with all their hems and haws and starts and restarts. Then they learn how to leave in just enough of those awkward moments to keep the dialogue realistic (thanks for the tip, bunnygirl!)

3. Infuse enough dialect to show a character’s nationality, but not so much that it overtakes the meaning of the words themselves. You want to show some flavor in word choice and pronunciation, but you don’t want to lose your reader either (thanks for the tip, Carolan Ivey!)

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Yesterday in class (I’m doing Shakespeare‘s Othello with my seniors), two students confessed they’d “read ahead” to find out the ending of the play. Another asked if colleges offered Shakespeare courses for non-English majors (she’s going pre-med), and just when I thought I’d keel over from pure happiness, another looked up at me and said, wide-eyed, “You know, Shakespeare’s a good writer.”

I replied, “Yeah, he’s okay.” Wink. Smile.

She went on. “No, really. Like, how does he know how to keep adding suspense, and make it so you have to keep on reading? Every time you turn the page, something else happens, and you catch your breath ‘cause you can‘t believe it.” Sigh. “I could never be a writer.”

Writers' Wednesday: Working With Dialogue

"Words are the voice of the heart."
~Confuscius

Welcome to Writers' Wednesday! Remember, everyone who leaves a comment on today's post is automatically entered into a drawing for a $5 Amazon Gift Certificate (if you comment on my post at The Wild Rose Press blog, also up today, you'll be entered twice...)! And today, we are talking about...

Dialogue.

It’s a tricky thing, getting it right, getting it realistic, getting it paced and tagged in just the right way. And yet it can be one of the most powerful elements of writing. It can deliver character, conflict, backstory, emotion, all in the span of a few short exchanges and utterances.

So how do you get it right? Well, I’m not claiming expertise, by any means, but today I’m offering 5 tips that I try to keep in mind when writing dialogue in my own stories. It’s pretty much a compilation of what I’ve learned over the last decade or so of writing. Some of it may be more applicable to novice writers, but I hope you find some use for yourself, no matter where you are in the writing or publishing journey.

And by all means, leave me some of your best tips and advice as well!

1. Don’t over-tag. If you have 2 people talking in a scene, you can get away with a back and forth exchange that doesn’t require you to tag every comment:

“So what happened to you last night?” Jenna asked.

Paul shrugged. “Missed my flight.”

“How?”

“Weather. Taxis were all tied up. Couldn‘t find one that would come out to the hotel.”

“Uh huh. So how did Marty manage to make it home on time?”

“Dunno. Why don’t you ask him?”

Did you have a hard time following who was speaking? Probably not. And yet I only added tags to the first two lines of dialogue. Of course, if you have more than 2 people talking, you’ll have to add tags more frequently. Still, don’t over-tag. Trust that your reader can follow you. A lot of novice writers think they have to spell out every line. Believe me, you don’t.

2. It isn’t necessary for characters to refer to each other by name as they’re speaking. Please take this one seriously. I see many novice writers in my writing groups who include something like this in a scene:

“Emily, please come downstairs. We have something we need to discuss.”

“Mom, I already told you I was doing my homework last night. I wasn’t online. I promise.”

“Then why did Mr. Rooney call me from school today to talk about an IM you sent to Darla Green, Emily?”

“I don’t know, Mom. He must have mixed me up with someone else.”

“Emily, we aren’t finished talking about this. Wait until your father gets home.”

Again, trust that your reader can follow who’s speaking, and to whom. It’s normally not necessary to repeat the name of the person to whom the line is spoken, unless for emphasis.

3. Use beats, or action tags, as often, or more often, than you use regular taglines. I have found this to be one of the most useful guidelines. You don’t need to accent every comment with a “he said/commented/uttered/shouted.” Instead, insert an action. Here’s a great scene from a Jennifer Crusie novel (Tell Me Lies) I’m currently reading:

“You really do feel okay?”

“I feel fine,” Maddie said. “Stop worrying.”

“Then can I spend the night at Mel’s?” Em bit off a corner of her toast. “If you’re not okay, though, I can stay with you. I don’t mind at all.”

“Oh.” Maddie swallowed. “Have I mentioned that you’re the perfect child?”

“Thank you. Can I stay with Mel?”

“Did you ask Aunt Treva?” Maddie bit into her toast carefully and chewed. Her head didn’t come off in pain. So far, so good.

Em shook her head. “No, Mel’s going to. Can I?”

“Call and find out.”

Em scraped her chair back.

“After breakfast.”

Notice how you can insert a great deal of action/character/setting by using action tags instead of dialogue taglines.

4. “Said” is still the best dialogue tag to use. Every once in a while, you can get creative and thumb through the thesaurus, tossing in a “ordered,” “barked,” “pleaded,” and so on. But don’t overdo it. For the most part, you want the reader’s focus to be on the words spoken, not the verb illustrating how they’re spoken.

5. Read your dialogue out loud. This was a great tip I received from a conference presenter early in my career. Written dialogue generally won’t mirror actual conversation. People aren’t too eloquent in real life; they have way too many “ums” and pauses and restarts as they speak. But you can still get a general feel for how authentic dialogue sounds if you read it aloud. Case in point:

“Sara, just watching you pull off that dress is enough to make me lose control,” Duke said as his roommate slipped from her drenched clothing.

Would an adult male, all riled up from a female getting naked close by, really talk that way? None that I know would.

“Jesus, you take that shirt off in front of me, and I’m not making any promises about what does or doesn’t happen next,” Duke said as his roommate slipped from her drenched clothing.

Better, but not great. I still don’t think he’d talk that much.

“Jesus,” Duke said as his roommate slipped from her drenched clothing, “are you trying to kill me?”

Bottom line: play around with your dialogue; try different tags and read it out loud. Have other people read it as well and give you their feedback. Dialogue can be challenging, but it can also be a writer’s best friend.

Good luck!

Thinking About Romance and Other Things

"You find me a woman who isn't interested in romance, and I will show you somebody who isn't alive."
~Nancy Berland

First off, a big thanks to Marianne, who nominated me for "The Best of the Best" Blog Entries, and to everyone who voted for "Why I Harbor Hope"...I ended up winning!

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Just a reminder: today, May 1, kicks off Brenda Novak's 3rd Annual Online Auction to Benefit Diabetes Research. Stop by and check out all the wonderful items she has for you to bid on!

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Finally, a quick look inside the May Romance Writers Report:

First Sales Column: Oh, good! Of the 12 authors listed here, only one claims that she was writing for a mere 18 months before selling her first manuscript. The other range from 5 to 12 years. Women after my own heart!

This one sounds like a winner already: The Secret Life of a Teenage Siren, by Wendy Toliver, published by Simon and Schuster is about "the adventures of a band geek who, on the eve of her 16th birthday, magically transforms into a beautiful Siren...she's irresistable--and deadly-to men everywhere." Ooh la la!

Market Update: NEW RECOGNIZED PUBLISHER: Samhain Publishing! Hooray (that's my publisher for One Night in Boston, just in case I hadn't trumpeted it enough here...)!!

Feature Article: "Look Who's Writing Romance": Terrific article highlighting the growing number of professional/college-educated women who are entering the romance-writing world, including Shakespeare professors, developmental psychologists, and Air Force pilots (yes, really!).

Among other observations: that academics know how to do research and stick to a disciplined schedule, making them effective writers, and that the growing numbers of sub-genres in romance demands people with highly specialized areas of expertise, including forensics, high-tech biz, and history.

Maybe there's hope for romance to be taken seriously in the literary world after all. Do you think so?

Didn't Expect It Part 2

"A kind word is like a spring day."
~Russian Proverb

Most of you probably read my blog post last week about the conversation I had with a woman I work with who effectively dismissed my publication news.

I got over it; I know that people have a lot going on in their lives and can’t always be concerned with other people’s successes. Still, I just didn’t expect such a blasé reaction.

Fast forward to yesterday morning, when I ran into a couple in the grocery store that my husband grew up with/is related to. The 4 of us are good friends, though we don’t see each other all that much. They work and live in different circles than we do--she’s college educated but he isn’t; he works for the family business that my husband left 10+ years ago; most of their days revolve around their 2 kids and/or his hunting/fishing/NASCAR-watching hobbies and her up-and-coming business in the nursing field.

The first thing he said to me was, “So when’s your book coming out? I want a copy.”

The first thing she said to me was, “You have two being published, right? I’m so proud of you!”

It’s funny , the expectations you hold of people. Did I expect them to know about my books? Not really. Did I expect them to be excited for me? I can‘t say. And yet they stood there in the middle of the frozen food aisle and asked me all kinds of questions--including when they could hold the books in their hands--for a good five minutes.

Most of the time, I like the way life surprises me.

P.S. - Marianne has nominated me for the "The Best of the Best" Blog Entries (gee, thanks, M) - so if you're so inclined, go and vote!

Three Pieces of Good News

"Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week."
~Joseph Addison

#1: Yesterday I finished the first draft of One Night in Memphis! Actually, it probably shouldn't be called the true first draft, since this novel has been "done" and out to agents in the past, but since I decided to seriously revamp it, it's come out on the other side looking somewhat different than before. It still needs about 4000 more words, and I'm still a little bored in places, but I'm doing as the wise Stephen King recommends and letting it sit in a drawer for a few weeks.

#2: My editor from The Wild Rose Press emailed to tell me she's working on the first edits for Lost in Paradise! Funny that I signed that contract a good 2 months after the one with Samhain, and yet I'll probably get edits on this one first. Not that I really mind, and they're 2 very different-sized publishers, so I'm just soaking in the learning experience. Still, I remember when I first joined a writers' group and was terrified to share my work with anyone, just for a general opinion. How things change...

#3: It's supposed to be 75 and sunny today! Actually, it turned out to be pretty nice yesterday too. So I might actually take a little break from writing and spend most of my time outdoors.

What about you? Any good news to share on a Sunday??