What's in a Warning?

“Why haven't women got labels on their foreheads saying, "Danger: Government Health Warning: Women can be dangerous to your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends” ~Anonymous

Two parts of writing blurbs I'm not crazy about: (1) The Warning and (2) The Comparison Titles. For marketing purposes, Samhain likes authors to add a warning to any titles that have explicit language, sex, situations, etc. But they also like it when authors come up with "creative" warnings that are humorous or sarcastic or somehow tease the reader into buying the book. Since my books are more sweet/sensual than anything else, and PG-13 rated, I don't have any necessary warnings. But my editor wants a cute, clever warning, so I spent yesterday wracking my brain trying to come up with something.

Here are three possibilities for One Night in Napa I have so far. Which one jumps out at you the most?

#1: Warning: This title contains a ticking clock, family secrets, and enough sexual tension to heat every corner of an enormous mansion…especially when the power goes out.

#2: Warning: This title contains a hunky hero who thinks he knows it all, an unconventional heroine who’s gonna show him how wrong he is, twisted family secrets, obscure references to Greek mythology, and fireworks galore.

#3: Warning: This title contains lots and lots of sexual tension, innuendos galore, and twenty-four short hours in which family secrets turn out to be more dangerous and damning than you’d ever imagine…

I also have to come up with book titles that are similar to mine, so Samhain can market appropriately to booksellers. But I always struggle with those too. That's next on the agenda...